Code:

on *:TEXT:beer *:#: {
  if ($1 == $null) describe # hands $nick an Ice Cold Budweiser.
  elseif ($1 !ison #) describe # hands an Ice Cold Budweiser to the non-existent $1 and it falls to the floor.
  else describe # hands $nick(#,$nick(#,$1)) an Ice Cold Budweiser.
}