Forums Feature Suggestions New Operator for if-then-else

To sidetrack:
what about the ability to call custom identifiers/aliases as comparison operators?
IE:
if ($1 $monkey $2) {
;..code..
}

alias monkey {
if ($1 == tail) {
if ($2 == tail) { return $true }
else { return $false }
}
}

Perhaps the above example isn't that great; but hows about this:
;Eval true if both have monkies have at least one foot
;monkey1 has feet
;monkey2 has a foot
;so
alias monkey {
if ($1 == feet) {
if ($2 == foot) { return $true }
else { return $false }
}
}