Lol, thats exactly my scene..but a few modifications..
Me: Do you know if there is a downtime for <my_area_here> currently?
Operator: I dont see any problems, what is your modems mac address?
Me: <Give mac address>
Operator: I have a ping responce, but the signal strength is very low. Try unplugging your modem and your router if you have one. Then wait 60 seconds, plug the modem in, then the router.
Me: I alreadyd did that
Operator: And you still have a bad connection?
(At this point im ready to be sarcastic and tell em I mistook their phone number for one of the dating ones and was just looking for someone to chat with, but i keep cool.)
Me: Yes, im still having a problem.
Operator: Try directly connecting your mdoem to your computer without the router
(I do so, and somehow get a better connection--)
Me: It's working now.
Operator: There must be a problem with your router, our network doesnt support it.
(Conversation ends, Im sick of talking to them so i get the off the line. For GP's I plug my router back on and find it works again with te router. Personally I think they found the problem, fixed it, and try to pass it off on hardware, but am left without an asnwer)
--Later that night--
Me: I called earlier this evening about having no internet connecition. I got it back up and running, but now have no internet again.
Operator: Have you tried resetting your modem and router if you have one
Me: Yes, i've already done that--no difference.
Operator: Have you tried removing your rotuer?
Me: I already know there is not an issue with my router. Its worked before, and Unless you completly redid your network in a matter of two hours, my router shoul stil work now.
Operator: Do you know of your neighbors have internet.
Me: I have a friend in the next neighborhood whom doesnt have internet, and has also reset his modem.
(You have to add these things or they just ask and you just PO'd real quick.
Operator: Well, we seem to be experiencing some down time in your area, <some lame excuse thats supposed to be technical to the average joe, but really is a line of bull to me. It's like they flipped to page N in their handy "technical responses to customer service callers" handbook.>
Me: Do you know how long it's going to be down?
Operator: No I don't sir
Me: ok Thanks(?) for the help.
*Sigh* I call back in an hour and they now have a message preceding their messaging service saying "if you are in the bleh area, you may be experiencing connectivity issues". Its amazing how stupid they take customers for, and how they want to "pass the buck" and not take responsibility for their actions..
Operator:
