yup tried that already too =( thanks for trying to help though, appreciate it =)

ok here are the settings on my mirc:
on local info: local host checked, IP address greyed out, server checked (local host and ip address match)
identd: enable identd checked, show identd checked, enable only when connecting checked
firewall: support = none, protocol = socks , port = 1080, everything else blank

DCC options: dcc ports = 1024-5000 (i've have also tried narrowing it)
DCC server: enable dcc server checked, listen on port = 59, everything else unchecked

General Servers: enable dde server checked, service name=mirc, dde delay = 300ms, show finger requests checked
General Lock: everything unchecked

is anyone else having this kind of problem??