Say what? Saturn didn't win??! Who's this Degausser kid and how dare he win!!?

(btw, you missed my slightly-shortened entry somehow. no big deal though.)
Code:
ALIAS palicount return $calc($regsubex($x($1),/(.)(?=(.*)$)/g,$y($x(\1\2)) +))
ALIAS x return $regsubex(x,$1,/(.)/g,$mid(\A,-\n,1))
ALIAS y return $len($regsubex(y,$1,/(.)(?=(.+\1)$)|./gF,$iif(\1\2 === $$x(\1\2),1)))

((yes. i can only think in $regsubex() anymore. this is who i've become))

Well. At least I won lunch.
Good philosophy, see good in bad, I like!