You're not evaluating anything in your if-statements (well actually you are but not in the way you want it).
Use the following syntax instead:
on *:TEXT:!*:#jtekbot:{
if ($1 == !settime) {
<code to be performed here>
}
if ($1) == !kick) {
<code to be performed here>
}
<rest of if-statements>
}
$1 holds the first space-seperated character set (first word on a line, also called parameters). $2 holds the second parameter. If you specify a - (stripe) after a parameter then it will take the rest of the line starting at that parameter. $2- means parameter 2 untill the end of the line. The event will now only be triggered if there's a line of text starting with a ! since the wildmask is only after the ! and not in front of it as well (like you did).
All this info can be found in the help-file.