I should have put in an affirmation response to let you know that $urlget() is working. So here's the code adjustment.
Line 5:
Code
  if (%ret) {
    echo -atic notice *** Check for Updates: One moment please...
  }
  else {
    echo -atic notice *** Check for Updates: Error. Check your network connection?
  }

Well. At least I won lunch.
Good philosophy, see good in bad, I like!