It definitely does not qualify for this section, IMO. You should ask on a PHP forum, specifically wildphp's forum. I'm sure they can easily decode the mIRC script you quoted and tell you how to properly implement it in PHP.
PS: your mIRC script is missing closing brackets and won't even work as an mIRC script. You should probably have working mIRC code before asking anybody to translate it to PHP. That way, whoever is helping you translate it at least knows that you've tested it in the original language, and it works.
