Excuse me for butting in, but ...

Why are you /who-ing the user on JOIN? The user's $address contains the information you need. If you prefer, you can even
Code:

[color:#840017]var %uid = $gettok($address, 1, 64)[/color]

to separate the userid (ident) from the host ($site). If the only reason you are using /who is to get their nickname and their userid, you are seriously wasting your time. You're building in lag into your script for no apparent reason.

Next point: ALL of the conditions you have in your IF statement MUST be true in order for you to see your script do anything whatsoever. That means that:
  1. ~ must be in at least one place in the userid;
  2. the entire userid must be in lower case;
  3. the userid must be only alphabet characters, no numbers or other characters are to be allowed (corrected version with $remove); and finally,
  4. the length of the userid must be greater than 8 characters in length.
Item d, by itself, might rule out a lot of nicks from ever triggering your PING + echo. Maximum userid length on most IRCds I've ever seen is 10 characters (to include the ~). Most IRCds allow at least numbers in addition to letters. ALL of the above MUST be true or nothing will visibly happen. Are you certain that is what you want? All of those conditions to be true (retain the &&)? Or perhaps if any of them are true (switch the && to ||)?

Perhaps a more sane version of the same code could look similar to this:
Code:

on ^*:JOIN:#:{
  [color:#840017]
  ;  Separate out the userid for multiple uses
  ;[/color]
  var %uid = $gettok($address, 1, 64)
  [color:#840017]
  ;  Color the userid portion bright blue and leave the rest of the join line alone.
  ;[/color]
  echo $color(join) -it $chan * Joins: $nick $+($chr(40),$chr(3),12,%uid,$chr(3),@,$site,$chr(41))
  [color:#840017]
  ;  Use the IF statements to decide whether or not to PING the joining nick or not.
  ;[/color]
  if ((~* iswm %uid) || ($islower(%uid)) || ($len(%uid) > 5) || ($remove(%uid, ~) isalphanum)) $&
    ctcp $nick PING
 
}

* Joins: NickName ([color:#8888FF]~userid@IP12-34-56-78.host.com)[/color]


DALnet: #HelpDesk and #m[color:#FF0000]IR[color:#EEEE00]C