I belive you need to use raw.

raw 333 will give you the information about who put topic and when. To trigger the raw /topic $chan

; what channel.
$chan($2).topic

; who put it there.
$3

; What date/time topic was set.
$asctime($4)

if ($me != tired) { return } | else { echo -a Get a pot of coffee now $+($me,.) }