Load this in a new script under remote tab. Allow it to initiate.

This is designed for your 2nd request, store contents into a .txt file.

Really really crude crash course on how to add words:

/hadd <name> <item> <data>

/hadd words brb Be Right Back

<name> == words
<item> == brb
<data> == Be Right Back

The <item> can't have spaces.

This script basically replaces the <item> with <data>.

See: /help /hadd


Code:
; Syntax to add more words:
;
; /hadd words brb Be Right Back

on *:start:{ 
  if (!$hget(words)) { 
    hmake words 200
  }
  if ($isfile(words.txt)) {
    hload words words.txt  
  }
} 

on *:unload:{ 
  if ($hget(words)) {
    ; Save words..
    hsave words words.txt
    hfree words
  }
}

on *:exit:{ 
  ; Save words..
  hsave words words.txt
}

on *:input:*:{ 
  ; Don't trigger on command that begin with "/" or 
  ; when "CTRL+ENTER" is pressed.  
  if ($left($1,1) != /) && (!$ctrlenter) {
    var %x = 1
    var %y = $numtok($1-,32)
    var %temp = $1-
    while (%y) {
      var %a = $gettok($1-,%y,32)
      if ($hfind(words,%a)) {
        var %b $numtok($hget(words,%a),32) - 1
        var %temp = $puttok(%temp,$hget(words,%a),%y,32)
        inc %b
      }
      dec %y
    }
    msg $active %temp
    halt
  }
}