I need to learn how to think outside the box more laugh

Even cheating can't top that frown

Code:
alias bm6 {
  var %start = $ticks, %i = 0
  .fopen gaz gazillion.txt
  while (%i < 10000) {
    .fwrite gaz $regsubex($str($crlf,100),/^/gm,$calc(%i + \n))
    inc %i 100
  }
  echo -a (hixxy+jaytea) File handling benchmark took $calc(($ticks - %start) / 1000) seconds
  .fclose gaz
  .remove gazillion.txt
  return
  :error
  reseterror
  .fclose gaz
  .remove gazillion.txt
}