it's greyed out in the option menu. are there any other way?

Disconnect from IRC first, then you can change it there.

okay, did that. but now when i want to connect it says:

"unable to connect (can't assign requested address)"

That is nothing to do with your email setting, use a different server.

You can also use a command to change your email address while still connected.

/emailaddr newaddy[/b]@myhost.com