I was wondering if there is anywhere that I can get a mIRC tutorial for complete idiots LOL.. i have no idea about all the lingo and cant find a tutorial for a total beginer.. I really want to learn at least how to understand the tech speak on this forum.

Thanks

How about... /help

You're probably looking for the section on "mIRC Scripts"

Google for "mirc tutorial", that should have a few resources in addition to the help.