We with a group of people are working on the new RFC2812-addon protocol, that would connect client to bouncer in better way. We really need comments and suggestions from bouncer, client and script developers. The forum is at: http://bounzza.net/forum/viewforum.php?f=8
heres a suggestion...as opposed to makeing the world conform to you...why dont you conformto the world. Make the bouncer act more like an ircd so that clients dont have trouble connecting to it.