Quote:
nick throws a tomato at nick.
nick2 runs away from nick2.

Just some constructive criticism if you use the above format: instead of the w switch I'd recommend using the s switch in this case.
(See /help $read for what the difference is)
Code:
if ($read(temp.txt,nts,$nick)) { describe $chan $v1 }
else { describe $chan slaps $nick back with a large trout. }