as far as i can tell he/she's just trying to get numbers returned only if $v1 or/and $v2 has something... I would suggest
Code:
alias iftrue {
var %i 0
if ($v1 != $null) inc %i
if ($v2 != $null) inc %i
return %i
}
Code:
 on *:Text........ {
say $iif($iftrue == 1, One, Two)
}

I don't know what you would use it for so thats just a usless example ^_^

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